Today, I'm celebrating 10 years of self employment. Whohoo! I didn't think I'd make it past ten months, but I've made it to ten years. Over the past decade, I have definitely evolved despite many obstacles. There's still so much to learn, but this self-employment journey now has me juggling two very important positions simultaneously.
That's right. I am a full time stay-at-home mom and I work from home. The best way to describe both of these demanding roles? Pure chaos. Somehow, it all works. However, it's really tough when you throw an exuberant toddler into the mix. How do I manage it all?
Long before we were with child, I transitioned from classroom teaching to the freelance world. My husband pursued a career that required us to move from state to state, so I switched my career for practicality. I've worked full-time jobs from home, but most have been short or long-term freelance projects. Being a freelancer (by the way, I really hate the word "freelancer" because some idiots think that's a green light to ask me to work for free), I have experienced both feast and famine. When feasting, I might work 14-hour days and on weekends for a few months at a time, but when the famine hits, I can go months without a paycheck. Overall, I have been grateful for the flexibility and diversity in projects that I take on.
Fast forward to 2014. During the first trimester, we both planned for me to be a full-time SAHM for the first year (and after 14 months, we would revisit our options for work). However, life happened and working was no longer an option--almost immediately after having the baby I had to find work. I was able to land a full-time work-from-home job, but it was way too demanding to keep with a new baby and no childcare. So back to freelancing I went. However, it has been no walk in the park. Figuring out when I actually can work takes major creativity. It is a daily struggle, but one that is necessary.
Working from home affords me the opportunity to make money while also committing to motherhood full time, but I often get mixed responses when I tell people I work from home. Many folks just don't get it. If I had put a dollar into a piggybank every time someone said You're just sooooo lucky to work from home, I'd be rich! Seriously, I really loathe this statement. People somehow have this sugar plum idea of working from home. Yes, I can work in my pajamas. Yes, I can travel with my work. Yes, I don't have to worry about sitting in a car for two hours each day commuting to an office. But guess what? It's still work! And it doesn't do itself. Other responses include: disbelief that real work actually exist; false notion that the actual work is "easier;" inquiries about opportunities from people who don't have credentials but are enamored with the idea of working from home ($50/hour? Aye! I don't have a degree in education and I've never published anything, but can you put me on to one of those curriculum projects?). So annoying.
Here are more FAQs on the wahm/sahm lifestyle:
1) Do you work during the day? H-E-double hockey sticks NO! If you're a parent or worked in childcare, you know that children want, need, and deserve our undivided attention. I am very hands on as a SAHM. I take this full-time job seriously and absolutely no project work is to interfere with our day-to-day routine.
2) When do you work? Even with a packed day, I somehow seem to still average 5-6 hours of work (including a mandatory hour for creative projects and checking/responding to emails). If I have a demanding project, I work 12-hour days on the weekends so that the bulk of my work is finished before Monday rolls around. In addition to certification courses and consultant work, the husband works two jobs Monday-Friday (Yeah, mon!), so it's all about using creativity to squeeze in work. Naps are golden. Platinum, in fact. The other hours are squeezed throughout the early morning hours and middle of the night. My schedule, on most days, looks like this:
6:00am-7:30am: Workout (who am I kidding? I sleep a lot during this slot, but I'm trying to do better)
7:30am-9:30am: Wake up and breakfast with the girl, morning activity
9:30am-10:00am: Outdoor nature walk
10:00am-11:45am: Homeschool/Unschool the girl
12 noon-1:30pm: Lunch, cleaning, maybe a shower
1:30pm-4:00pm: Nap time for the kid = work time for mommy! During this incredibly short window, I try and squeeze in a full day's work, laundry, dinner prep, meditation, you name it
4:30-6:30pm: Afternoon activity, cook dinner
6:30-8:30pm: Family time, bedtime routine for the girl
10:30pm-3:00am: Although my brain is near fried at this point, this is when I work
3) How many hours of sleep do you get? Sleep? What's that? I don't remember the last time I had 8 hours of blissful, uninterrupted sleep. A little sleep deprivation comes with the territory though, so I'm not pressed. I know that I need sleep for good health, but right now it's not happening. I am aware of my limits and will take naps or turn down work if I'm super exhausted.
4) Besides sleep, what other sacrifices do you make to work from home while raising a child? A lot, but the two most prevalent sacrifices are time and money. Time is almost non-existent, so we have to say no to outings that don't fit into our schedule. This means offending people who don't really understand the demands of what we're doing. Oh well. I haven't figured out yet how to balance me and we (mommy/daddy) time, but I am patient in my quest for balance. Also, money is sacrificed. I'm not working outside of the home--all of my work is project-based, which means I don't get paid regularly. In fact, I may work on a project and not see the payment until four months later. That leaves the husband to do all of the heavy lifting when it comes to paying bills. Practicing minimalism and sticking to a tight budget helps in the finance department.
I don't know what the future holds, but I sure do hope it includes self employment. Shaping my career by my own terms is vital. I may be pulling my hair out right now, but I know someday I'll reminisce about this crazy time and say, "Whoa, Nelly! I remember when I was a wahm and sahm at the same dang time!"